The devil may decide to strike. A man suddenly becomes aggressive, starts keeping late nights and quarrels at the least provocation. On the other hand, a woman sucks away, becomes too resentful and rebuffing and may even pretend to be doing some spiritual exercise. Why? There is a serious crack in sexual relationship, if one is not in the spirit; a once cherished home crumbles unexpectedly.

St. Paul gives his admonitions:

The husband should fulfill his

marital duty to his wife, and

likewise the wife to her husband

The wife’s body does not belong

To her alone but also to her

Husband. In the same way, the

Husband’s body does not belong

to him alone but also to his

wife. Do not deprive each other

except by mutual consent and

for a time, so that you may

devote yourselves to prayer… I Cor. 7v3-5.

In marital relationship, sex is not to be used as a weapon against each other. The Apostle Paul says if there are going to be deprivation, It is only to be occasioned by mutual consent may be to undertake some spiritual exercise. Anything beside it to be put on hold, for marital bliss to flow unhindered. Many believers have underrated the strategy of the enemy and eventually they paid dearly for it.

A woman boasted somewhere in her testimony, anytime her husband fails to give her certain of her demands, she resorts to denying her husband sex. Sometimes she will pretend to be sick or too tired after the day’s work. But all these were ploy to cow her husband to fulfill her demands. Infact for this woman, her husband’s failure to provide monetary requests results to denial of conjugal rights. But should it be so?

I think this attitude of the woman in the above picture is highly primitive and should not be encouraged. The danger is that some men may now in the bid to satisfy their physiological needs – sex, may resort to extra marital relationships, while hiding under the syndrome of no money. For if a man gets satisfied outside danger of contacting venereal diseases like Staphylococcus, Gonorrhea, Hiv. Notwithstanding, gradually that home may suddenly be gripped with divorce and the children (most times) becomes victims due to no fault of theirs. It’s not good to give the devil a chance.

Time has come to draw attention of married couples to the fact that God’s gift should not be trampled upon. Each should render to his/her partner the conjugal rights.

It may be interesting to say that marriages collapses and rises in sexual relationship. Afterall, the man did say in adoring the woman “… this is the bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh…” (Gen. 2v23(b).

At this point it may be instructive to pray for couples who may not be finding it easy in their relationship. Particularly those of them who resort to the primitive method of using sex as a weapon either to punish or use it to gain whatever they may have needed in the time past no matter how trivial such may have been. Also to be prayed for are husbands who indulge in extra marital affairs for God to heal their broken relationships.

God’s idea of sexual relationship is to help couples rear Godly children. And this is succinctly captured in the marriage service thus: ‘marriage is given that they may have children and be blessed for caring for them and bringing them up in accordance with God’s will, to His praise and glory’. The Psalmist was right when he attested rightly that ‘children are heritage from the Lord’ (Ps. 127v3).

It is our wish today to encourage husbands and wives to live responsibly and honourably especially as they partake in the gift of God in creation about sex. Parents should frown seriously if their children in the name of new found freedom and youthful exuberance commercialize sex.

To be continued.


Rector, Ibru International Ecumenical Retreat Centre,


Delta State.

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